Today has just been another of those 'days', where in you get soaked with those never ending confusing thoughts, doubts and questions which leave you emotionally drained in the end while you try and figure out if it is the mood swing, loneliness or something to be even concerned about. As years roll by, I find myself sitting on an ever increasing pile of questions which certainly do not deserve to be called rhetorical questions. And yes these questions have been a pain in the arse for me since time immemorial. The ongoing battle of reasoning, instinct, intuition and all the other senses acting in the mind have all but made a complete mess in there. The more I run or hide away ignoring them, the more they seem to get on my nerves. This is just that 'day'!!
Let me talk about being associated with my religion and God here. I would refer to "God" as "Ye" just so there isn't any gender discord. My transition from a staunch believer in God to my current predicament of being somewhere between an Agnostic and an Atheist has nothing but shocked and confused not only me but also the people around to whom I have confessed about this. And hell I am not a lunatic when I admit this, I am as honest as the day is long. The subject of being a believer or a non believer and being honest about it is a matter of choice rather than a self/superimposed commitment. Why is it that such a thing as one's 'belief' [especially when that belief doesn't go with the common rule] is considered a taboo and some one with such 'belief' being hailed as a lunatic just because he is on the other side of the spectrum? Religion shouldn't be a moral obligation for any person born into it. What good purpose does it serve for me to go and pray for my selfish gains into a religious institution as a moral obligation when I don't feel any affinity for the almighty? The way I relate 'Ye' to something good/pure, I don't see myself going into Ye's institution with an impure and deceased soul or even ask for forgiveness if I have sinned. And if at all I consider my sins to be grave, how do I testify against the 'evils' entering Ye's divine institution with such ease and flair that even Satan would be put to shame. The more I see evil in this World, the lesser the faith I have in Ye. Gods, if you are really listening it is high time, you need to put in your papers, you aren't doing your job. Even if you are, I feel you are too biased about things.
If Ye is out there looking down at us, how can Ye be so biased about things on this planet. Where is Ye when hell breaks loose on Earth? Genocides, Wars, a whole continent starving, corruption, exploitation and the list goes endless. Basically it is uncontrollable here, and Ye is said to be the ruler. Masses kill each other in Ye's name, if that's the mess you are staring at. This has been happening for centuries now and it is amazing that people still show faith in Ye. Why not, who cares about a black kid starving on a black continent about to be devoured by vultures, or the bald peace loving monks just demanding freedom that's all? Hell I have got my own %^&$*#@ problems down here, why even bother to give a thought to this, rather I'd drop the thought and go hang out partying is it? If I do give a thought to it I am hailed as a wanker, if I hell don't care about it, I am a selfish prick? Even if I give a thought to it, what could I do just being a witness and an absolute loser for not being able to do something about it! Ha!
Let me talk about being associated with my religion and God here. I would refer to "God" as "Ye" just so there isn't any gender discord. My transition from a staunch believer in God to my current predicament of being somewhere between an Agnostic and an Atheist has nothing but shocked and confused not only me but also the people around to whom I have confessed about this. And hell I am not a lunatic when I admit this, I am as honest as the day is long. The subject of being a believer or a non believer and being honest about it is a matter of choice rather than a self/superimposed commitment. Why is it that such a thing as one's 'belief' [especially when that belief doesn't go with the common rule] is considered a taboo and some one with such 'belief' being hailed as a lunatic just because he is on the other side of the spectrum? Religion shouldn't be a moral obligation for any person born into it. What good purpose does it serve for me to go and pray for my selfish gains into a religious institution as a moral obligation when I don't feel any affinity for the almighty? The way I relate 'Ye' to something good/pure, I don't see myself going into Ye's institution with an impure and deceased soul or even ask for forgiveness if I have sinned. And if at all I consider my sins to be grave, how do I testify against the 'evils' entering Ye's divine institution with such ease and flair that even Satan would be put to shame. The more I see evil in this World, the lesser the faith I have in Ye. Gods, if you are really listening it is high time, you need to put in your papers, you aren't doing your job. Even if you are, I feel you are too biased about things.
If Ye is out there looking down at us, how can Ye be so biased about things on this planet. Where is Ye when hell breaks loose on Earth? Genocides, Wars, a whole continent starving, corruption, exploitation and the list goes endless. Basically it is uncontrollable here, and Ye is said to be the ruler. Masses kill each other in Ye's name, if that's the mess you are staring at. This has been happening for centuries now and it is amazing that people still show faith in Ye. Why not, who cares about a black kid starving on a black continent about to be devoured by vultures, or the bald peace loving monks just demanding freedom that's all? Hell I have got my own %^&$*#@ problems down here, why even bother to give a thought to this, rather I'd drop the thought and go hang out partying is it? If I do give a thought to it I am hailed as a wanker, if I hell don't care about it, I am a selfish prick? Even if I give a thought to it, what could I do just being a witness and an absolute loser for not being able to do something about it! Ha!
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